...in which Piglet meets a heffalump
ONE day, when Christopher Robin and Winnie-the-Pooh and
Piglet were all talking together, Christopher Robin finished
the mouthful he was eating and said carelessly: "I saw a
Heffalump to-day, Piglet."
"What was it doing?" asked Piglet.
"Just lumping along," said Christopher Robin. "I don't
think it saw me."
"I saw one once," said Piglet. "At least, I think I
did," he said. "Only perhaps it wasn't."
"So did I," said Pooh, wondering what a Heffalump was
like.
"You don't often see them," said Christopher Robin
carelessly.
"Not now," said Piglet.
"Not at this time of year," said Pooh.
Then they all talked about something else, until it was
time for Pooh and Piglet to go home together. At first as they
stumped along the path which edged the Hundred Acre Wood, they
didn't say much to each other; but when they came to the
stream, and had helped each other across the stepping stones,
and were able to walk side by side again over the heather, they
began to talk in a friendly way about this and that, and Piglet
said, "If you see what I mean, Pooh," and Pooh said, "It's just
what I think myself, Piglet," and Piglet said, "But, on the
other hand, Pooh, we must remember," and Pooh said, "Quite
true, Piglet, although I had forgotten it for the moment." And
then, just as they came to the Six Pine Trees, Pooh looked
round to see that nobody else was listening, and said in a very
solemn voice: "Piglet, I have decided something.'
"What have you decided, Pooh?"
"I have decided to catch a Heffalump."
Pooh nodded his head several times as he said this, and
waited for Piglet to say "How?" or "Pooh, you couldn't!" or
something helpful of that sort, but Piglet said nothing. The
fact was Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first.
"I shall do it," said Pooh, after waiting a little
longer, "by means of a trap. And it must be a Cunning Trap, so
you will have to help me, Piglet."
"Pooh," said Piglet, feeling quite happy again now, "I
will." And then he said, "How shall we do it?" and Pooh said,
"That's just it. How?" And then they sat down together to think
it out.
Pooh's first idea was that they should dig a Very Deep
Pit, and then the Heffalump would come along and fall into the
Pit, and --
"Why?" said Piglet.
"Why what?" said Pooh.
"Why would he fall in?"
Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw, and said that the
Heffalump might be walking along, humming a little song, and
looking up at the sky, wondering if it would rain, and so he
wouldn't see the Very Deep Pit until he was half-way down, when
it would be too late.
Piglet said that this was a very good Trap, but
supposing it were raining already?
Pooh rubbed his nose again, and said that he hadn't
thought of that. And then he brightened up, and said that, if
it were raining already, the Heffalump would be looking at the
sky wondering if it would clear up, and so he wouldn't see the
Very Deep Pit until he was half-way down.... When it would be
too late.
Piglet said that, now that this point had been
explained, he thought it was a Cunning Trap.
Pooh was very proud when he heard this, and he felt
that the Heffalump was as good as caught already, but there was
just one other thing which had to be thought about, and it was
this. Where should they dig the Very Deep Pit?
Piglet said that the best place would be somewhere
where a Heffalump was, just before he fell into it, only about
a foot farther on.
"But then he would see us digging it," said Pooh.
"Not if he was looking at the sky."
"He would Suspect," said Pooh, "if he happened to look
down." He thought for a long time and then added sadly, "It
isn't as easy as I thought. I suppose that's why Heffalumps
hardly ever get caught."
"That must be it," said Piglet.
They sighed and got up; and when they had taken a few
gorse prickles out of themselves they sat down again; and all
the time Pooh was saying to himself, "If only I could think of
something!" For he felt sure that a Very Clever Brain could
catch a Heffalump if only he knew the right way to go about it.
"Suppose," he said to Piglet, "you wanted to catch me, how
would you do it?"
"Well," said Piglet, "I should do it like this. I
should make a Trap, and I should put a Jar of Honey in the
Trap, and you would smell it, and you would go in after it, and
-- "
"And I would go in after it," said Pooh excitedly,
"only very carefully so as not to hurt myself, and I would get
to the Jar of Honey, and I should lick round the edges first of
all, pretending that there wasn't any more, you know, and then
I should walk away and think about it a little, and then I
should come back and start licking in the middle of the jar,
and then -- "
"Yes, well never mind about that where you would be,
and there I should catch you. Now the first thing to think of
is, What do Heffalumps like? I should think acorns, shouldn't
you? We'll get a lot of -- I say, wake up, Pooh!"
Pooh, who had gone into a happy dream, woke up with a
start, and said that Honey was a much more trappy thing than
Haycorns. Piglet didn't think so; and they were just going to
argue about it, when Piglet remembered that, if they put acorns
in the Trap, he would have to find the acorns, but if they put
honey, then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey,
so he said, "All right, honey then," just as Pooh remembered it
too, and was going to say, "All right, haycorns." "Honey," said
Piglet to himself in a thoughtful way, as if it were now
settled. "I'll dig the pit, while you go and get the honey."
"Very well," said Pooh, and he stumped off.
As soon as he got home, he went to the larder; and he
stood on a chair, and took down a very large jar of honey from
the top shelf. It had HUNNY written on it, but, just to make
sure, he took off the paper cover and looked at it, and it
looked just like honey. "But you never can tell," said Pooh. "I
remember my uncle saying once that he had seen cheese just this
colour." So he put his tongue in, and took a large lick. "Yes,"
he said, "it is. No doubt about that. And honey, I should say,
right down to the bottom of the jar. Unless, of course," he
said, "somebody put cheese in at the bottom just for a joke.
Perhaps I had better go a little further . . . just in case . .
. in case Heffalumps don't like cheese . . . same as me. . . .
Ah!" And he gave a deep sigh. "I was right. It is honey, right
the way down."
Having made certain of this, he took the jar back to
Piglet, and Piglet looked up from the bottom of his Very Deep
Pit, and said, "Got it?" and Pooh said, "Yes, but it isn't
quite a full jar," and he threw it down to Piglet, and Piglet
said, "No, it isn't! Is that all you've got left?" and Pooh
said, "Yes." Because it was. So Piglet put the jar at the
bottom of the Pit, and climbed out, and they went off home
together.
"Well, good night, Pooh," said Piglet, when they had
got to Pooh's house. "And we meet at six o'clock to-morrow
morning by the Pine Trees, and see how many Heffalumps we've
got in our Trap."
"Six o'clock, Piglet. And have you got any string?"
"No. Why do you want string?"
"To lead them home with."
"Oh! . . . I think Heffalumps come if you whistle."
"Some do and some don't. You never can tell with
Heffalumps. Well, good night!"
"Good night!"
And off Piglet trotted to his house TRESPASSERS W,
while Pooh made his preparations for bed.
Some hours later, just as the night was beginning to
steal away, Pooh woke up suddenly with a sinking feeling. He
had had that sinking feeling before, and he knew what it meant.
He was hungry. So he went to the larder, and he stood on a
chair and reached up to the top shelf, and found -- nothing.
"That's funny," he thought. "I know I had a jar of
honey there. A full jar, full of honey right up to the top, and
it had HUNNY written on it, so that I should know it was honey.
That's very funny." And then he began to wander up and down,
wondering where it was and murmuring a murmur to himself. Like
this:
It's very, very funny,
'Cos I know I had some honey:
'Cos it had a label on,
Saying HUNNY,
A goloptious full-up pot too,
And I don't know where it's got to,
No, I don't know where it's gone --
Well, it's funny.
He had murmured this to himself three times in a
singing sort of way, when suddenly he remembered. He had put it
into the Cunning Trap to catch the Heffalump.
"Bother!" said Pooh. "It all comes of trying to be kind
to Heffalumps." And he got back into bed.
But he couldn't sleep. The more he tried to sleep, the
more he couldn't. He tried Counting Sheep, which is sometimes a
good way of getting to sleep, and, as that was no good, he
tried counting Heffalumps. And that was worse. Because every
Heffalump that he counted was making straight for a pot of
Pooh's honey, and eating it all. For some minutes he lay there
miserably, but when the five hundred and eighty-seventh
Heffalump was licking its jaws, and saying to itself, "Very
good honey this, I don't know when I've tasted better," Pooh
could bear it no longer. He jumped out of bed, he ran out of
the house, and he ran straight to the Six Pine Trees.
The Sun was still in bed, but there was a lightness in
the sky over the Hundred Acre Wood which seemed to show that it
was waking up and would soon be kicking off the clothes. In the
half-light the Pine Trees looked cold and lonely, and the Very
Deep Pit seemed deeper than it was, and Pooh's jar of honey at
the bottom was something mysterious, a shape and no more. But
as he got nearer lo it his nose told him that it was indeed
honey, and his tongue came out and began to polish up his
mouth, ready for it.
"Bother!" said Pooh, as he got his nose inside the jar.
"A Heffalump has been eating it!" And then he thought a little
and said, "Oh, no, I did. I forgot."
Indeed, he had eaten most of it. But there was a little
left at the very bottom of the jar, and he pushed his head
right in, and began to lick....
By and by Piglet woke up. As soon as he woke he said to
himself, "Oh!" Then he said bravely, "Yes," and then, still
more bravely, "Quite so." But he didn't feel very brave, for
the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain was
"Heffalumps."
What was a Heffalump like?
Was it Fierce?
Did it come when you whistled? And how did it come?
Was it Fond of Pigs at all?
If it was Fond of Pigs, did it make any difference what
sort of Pig?
Supposing it was Fierce with Pigs, would it make any
difference if the Pig had a grandfather called TRESPASSERS
WILLIAM?
He didn't know the answer to any of these questions . .
. and he was going to see his first Heffalump in about an hour
from now!
Of course Pooh would be with him, and it was much more
Friendly with two. But suppose Heffalumps were Very Fierce with
Pigs and Bears?
Wouldn't it be better to pretend that he had a
headache, and couldn't go up to the Six Pine Trees this
morning? But then suppose that it was a very fine day, and
there was no Heffalump in the trap, here he would be, in bed
all the morning, simply wasting his time for nothing. What
should he do?
And then he had a Clever Idea. He would go up very
quietly to the Six Pine Trees now, peep very cautiously into
the Trap, and see if there was a Heffalump there. And if there
was, he would go back to bed, and if there wasn't, he wouldn't.
So off he went. At first he thought that there wouldn't
be a Heffalump in the Trap, and then he thought that there
would, and as he got nearer he was sure that there would,
because he could hear it heffalumping about it like anything.
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!" said Piglet to himself.
And he wanted to run away. But somehow, having got so near, he
felt that he must just see what a Heffalump was like. So he
crept to the side of the Trap and looked in.
And all the time Winnie-the-Pooh had been trying to get
the honey-jar off his head. The more he shook it, the more
tightly it stuck. "Bother!" he said, inside the jar, and "Oh,
help!" and, mostly, "Ow!" And he tried bumping it against
things, but as he couldn't see what he was bumping it against,
it didn't help him; and he tried to climb out of the Trap, but
as he could see nothing but jar, and not much of that, he
couldn't find his way. So at last he lifted up his head, jar
and all, and made a loud, roaring noise of Sadness and Despair
. . . and it was at that moment that Piglet looked down.
"Help, help!" cried Piglet, "a Heffalump, a Horrible
Heffalump!" and he scampered off as hard as he could, still
crying out, "Help, help, a Herrible Hoffalump! Hoff, Hoff, a
Hellible Horralump! Holl, Holl, a Hoffable Hellerump!" And he
didn't stop crying and scampering until he got to Christopher
Robin's house.
"Whatever's the matter, Piglet?" said Christopher
Robin, who was just getting up.
"Heff," said Piglet, breathing so hard that he could
hardly speak, "a Heff -- a Heff -- a Heffalump."
"Where?"
"Up there," said Piglet, waving his paw.
"What did it look like?"
"Like -- like -- It had the biggest head you ever saw,
Christopher Robin. A great enormous thing, like -- like
nothing. A huge big -- well, like a -- I don't know -- like an
enormous big nothing. Like a jar."
"Well," said Christopher Robin, putting on his shoes,
"I shall go and look at it. Come on."
Piglet wasn't afraid if he had Christopher Robin with
him, so off they went....
"I can hear it, can't you?" said Piglet anxiously, as
they got near.
"I can hear something," said Christopher Robin.
It was Pooh bumping his head against a tree-root he had
found.
"There!" said Piglet. "Isn't it awful?" And he held on
tight to Christopher Robin's hand.
Suddenly Christopher Robin began to laugh . . . and he
laughed . . and he laughed . . . and he laughed. And while he
was still laughing -- Crash went the Heffalump's head against
the tree-root, Smash went the jar, and out came Pooh's head
again....
Then Piglet saw what a Foolish Piglet he had been, and
he was so ashamed of himself that he ran straight off home and
went to bed with a headache. But Christopher Robin and Pooh
went home to breakfast together.
"Oh, Bear!" said Christopher Robin. "How I do love
you!"
"So do I," said Pooh.